Sabado, Nobyembre 17, 2012

Breaking Dawn (The End of Taylor Lautner's Six Pack Abs)


The Twilight Series has finally come to an end. And the last installment made me awake as opposed to the previous movies which made me concoct my own series in dreamland. I was never a fan, I was coerced to watch by friends and even deceived at one point convincing me that it’s a good story only to find out it wasn’t leaving me asleep and drooling in my seat. It’s like a teenage version of Interview with The Vampire, only in raging hormones. Too much talking, pale looking characters, and a boy who likes to flaunt his body onscreen which females and some not so female viewers enjoy. The reason I watched is because Bella turned into a Vampire and with promising powers she possess her character became interesting.

So what’s in store in the last franchise? Bella is now having red lenses. A baby was born named Renesmee who happens to be half mortal and half immortal. However wrong word spread, thanks to a nosy character and the Volturi, the most powerful group of vampires wanted to kill her. It has been known that Immortal babies are equivalent to our “tyanaks” which explains why they have to kill them. Now Edward and Bella don’t want to ignite chaos and planned to convince the Volturi’s that their child is not a threat. And thanks to their friends, they gathered witnesses around the world with special powers to prove that their claim is true. I for one like the Amazon Vampires as well as the Vampire who can control the elements. The rest of the story you have to watch . . . it gets exciting in the end with a twist that dismayed the moviegoers.

It was weird to watch the baby Renesmee. It felt like she was not human and any minute could turn into Chucky. I find it rather odd that vampires were made of clay and ice. And you have to stretch them to their maximum limit to bring them to their death. I wonder if they get vertigo the moment they discovered they have the ability to run fast. My friend even commented how come there were no Philippine representative in the witnesses. Our manananggal could come in handy. While half of her body is already in the scene, half is still on the plane or worst in the baggage area. I have to warn you though to increase your tolerance to female moviegoers especially the Edward fanatics. They squirm, they shiver, and they yell at the sight of him that you want to push them out of their seats. But since it’s the holiday season, bear with them.

If I were to choose between becoming a vampire or a wolf, I would choose the former. A wolf has no pores, I will not sweat. I will stink as well. Unlike the vampire, which the cosmetics company will earn millions from me, I will enjoy my longevity. I could travel the world. I’ll be rich. I can now suck the life out of my enemies. And best of all, I will have special powers…nyahahahaha (sinister laugh). But not the Twilightish vampires, but like Henry in Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to have my meal.

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