Just this afternoon I saw a child surrounded by his peers on the footsteps animatedly discussing the game his currently playing on his Ipad. Talk about early lessons on social networking but this charming event happened in the church and while the mass was going on. I wonder where his parents are for I can only give them a stare, eyes that could pierce through their brains and reprogrammed them by virtue of telekinesis and genetically engineer their neurons to do what is right and appropriate for their product of conception. I wonder what the kid’s future will be.
Flashback to early 90’s where my mother was austere when it comes to hearing mass. Proper decorum, appropriate attire, behave like an adult and pray like a child. I would wander from time to time playing in a nearby tree or be amazed by the bright balloon colors and go back to my original place afterwards or else I’ll be punished come home. I admire my parent strictness and have helped pay respects toward religion. As I’ve read in metaphysics, Religion is the biggest foundation of your salvation (no point of debate – PERIOD).
Nowadays, it’s a different story. The Lord reminded us to keep the Sabbath day Holy, however Sundays has become a requirement rather than an hour of praise. And I get distracted sometimes by the flaws and whatnots in church. Here are my pet peeves.
1. Dress to depress – Many churchgoers need a jolt in their heads by virtue of electric shock wave therapy to ignite their senses and be reminded that they are in a house of worship not in a party scene worst the beach. I do not know if climate change has affected the dressing ability of our locals now that shorts (I am guilty twice– but I have a valid reason) are considered a church outfit. Is it the humidity your afraid off that your balls would fry leaving your sperms in jeopardy? Your hairy, unshaven legs make me puke. And talk about spaghetti straps? Once, there was a nun who publicly reprimanded a girl for wearing spaghetti straps inside the church and asked her to cover herself. No, the spinster was not jealous that she cannot wear such design, in return she was reminding the girl to dress appropriately. Off with their heads.
2. The Fly Trap – If you’re looking a cheaper alternative for a motel or cannot find a decent place to take a nap, then try the church. I have seen a handful sleep during ceremonies with their mouth opens enough to catch a fly and choke them until they are brought to reality. Come on, taking your siesta inside the church earns you a hundred pieces of lightning bolt. You could have swallowed a kilogram of caffeine prior or starve yourself. At least your palpitations and hunger pangs will help keep you awake. Arrhythmia and Peptic ulcer disease equals a clean conscience.
3. Chatterbox – I wonder if these people ran out of stories that in between homily or after communion or during the announcement they would share their sentiments on life. I have big ears and my eardrum can cover up to 1 kilometer. Seriously, discussing life matters while inside the premises is strictly forbidden. You need to join Oprah’s life class, dear.
4. Text me, I’m in Purgatory – I am guilty of this sometimes and still I have a valid reason and for those who don’t, leave your gadgets inside your pocket, your car or at home. Life has been complicated since technology was easily accessible. Playing games, texting and even answering calls while the mass is going on merits you a trip in the purgatory, a pleasant preview of your afterlife.
Let’s face it, time have changed. Values have devaluated and egos have multiplied. In the world of modernization, where everyone is slowly slipping away, I hope that we keep track of ourselves, the core of who we are and evaluate what we have become. Life choices reverberate for years and we may not feel it now but we don’t want our loved ones to suffer later. When God gives you another sunrise then it means you are given the chance to change. The constant thing in this world is change. For nothing’s gonna change his love for you. For the man in the mirror said … make that change. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take my medicine.